December 27th, 2001

December 27, 2001 on 6:45 pm | In Brandeis, Life Updates

So, 2001 is almost over. And 2002 has almost begun.

2002 will be a big year, I think. It’ll be the first palindromic year since 1991. It’ll be the year I graduate from college. It’ll be the first year that George W. Bush is president for all of. It’ll be the first year, ever, since 2001. Really. You can look that up.


New years always get me nostalgic… for columns I’ve written about other years. So, for your reading pleasure, why not take a stroll down memory lane with me, along the sidewalk planks of yesteryear, or perhaps balancing along the curbside of the past, and read this column about the 80s. We’ll try to avoid the sidewalk cracks of lost opportunity and we won’t look straight up at the birds that might suddenly allow the extended metaphor of mediocrity to crap on our faces.

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    December 26th, 2001

    December 26, 2001 on 5:37 am | In Family, Food

    Today I went to the Santa Monica Pier with my parents, brother-in-law, his sister, and my two-and-a-half-year-old niece. I love California — that’s why I plan to move here after graduation this May. We went on this big Ferris Wheel… I was amazed the park was open on Christmas Day (or, as I call it, Tuesday). I kept marvelling at how my niece is too young (and maybe too smart) to spend time worrying about being scared when she’s on the Ferris Wheel: People she trusts put her on it, so when it went way up high or when it went backwards, she knew to just sit back and enjoy the ride, squeal with delight, wonder at the beach, and not waste a moment being afraid. You can learn a lot from a baby.

    Of course, several hours later, she vomitted up enough liquid French Fries to make an odd-flavored large McDonald’s shake, so babies can apparently learn a lot from you too. Lesson #47: If you’re gonna spew, find a toilet. Or at least a gutter. Or, at the very very least, not the couch that Uncle Lex is sitting on.

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    December 25th, 2001

    December 25, 2001 on 2:37 am | In Family, Life Updates

    I’m in California now with two babies, and also my two young nieces. Haha, get it? I’m calling my sister and brother-in-law babies!

    Merry Christmas, if you’re into that sort of thing.

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    December 23rd, 2001

    December 23, 2001 on 4:49 pm | In Family, Things of Amusement to Me

    I woke up because my sister was vomitting.

    Well, I woke up because my cell phone rang. Apparently, my brother-in-law in California was attempting to call my parents because he, my sister, and their two young daughters were all puking and just generally feeling bad. They wanted to talk to my dad so he could give them advice, but he wasn’t home at the time. I don’t know what kind of advice they’re expecting — I mean, besides “drink fluids,” “eat toast,” “take it easy” — what more do they want?


    “Save all the up-chuck in separate sterile containers, and if you each drink somebody else’s, it’ll all go away.”


    Not likely.


    “Vomitting?!! I’ll be on the next flight!”


    Also probably an over-reaction.


    So, I’m awake, they’re barfing, and nobody’s here to help them. The sad irony just makes me sick… Really sick– uh, BLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH

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    December 20th, 2001

    December 20, 2001 on 7:16 pm | In Family, Life Updates

    There is lots of fun stuff to do in Arizona. Sitting, for example.

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    December 19th, 2001

    December 19, 2001 on 1:46 am | In Brandeis, Life Updates, The Lex Files

    For a while there, I was flying high.

    That is, for some time, this page was hugely popular. I was the most popular site on the people.brandeis.edu server; I got hundreds of page views a day. But now, that fame and notoriety has slowed to a trickle. Or a trickel. Or something. But probably a trickle.


    So I’m giving Blogger a few bucks — about enough for a movie ticket — to advertise my page on occasion, in hopes of increasing viewership. For no good reason — I get no ad revenue; there is no benefit to having more viewers, other than reassurance that maintaining this page isn’t a complete waste of my time… It’s also a waste of someone else’s.


    I think I’m gonna start hyping the other stuff that’s just tucked away on the site. Like, a featured column or song of the day, so you can find an old funny chestnut to read through. To start things off, check out this old column about David Nurenberg. David is a Brandeis alum who wrote for a lot of the campus publications, and who one day accidentally sent me a sappy, love-filled missive meant for his girlfriend who happens to share a name with me. Light a candle, turn on the low-fi, and just groove to my funny words, baby. And email your friends about it, too. Let’s make The Lex Files huge.


    For no good reason.

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    December 18th, 2001

    December 18, 2001 on 1:46 am | In Family, Life Updates

    Lex got his wisdom teeth out today.

    Lex is in pain.


    Earlier in the day, however, Lex was not in pain. No, not at all. He was in Happy Happy Land, a place where anesthesia recovery is slow and his brain is, essentially, intoxicated. THAT was a good time.


    But now, there is no numbness of mouth or brain. Now there is pain.


    And holes. In my gums. where the wisdom teeth used to be.


    The fun thing about having your wisdom teeth removed is… Wait, sorry. There is no fun thing.


    But, in Hannukah news, Lex is now the proud owner of a bathrobe that he can wear without earning an NC-17 rating, a digital camera that rocks, and a really tiny slinky. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

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    December 16th, 2001

    December 16, 2001 on 3:40 pm | In Family

    Today, I fly home to Tucson, Arizona (official motto: Yes, it is hot enough for me, thank you very much). I’ll be there for two weeks, with fun special activities planned like watching movies, doing nothing, and getting my wisdom teeth removed. Then it’s back to Massachusetts in early 2002 for my last go at Spur recording. I’ll blog from home… Till next time, keep it real homies.

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    December 14th, 2001

    December 14, 2001 on 8:00 am | In Brandeis, Television

    My final final has been finalized. Now I can do the important things, like watch The Simpsons and play videogames.

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    December 12th, 2001

    December 12, 2001 on 6:52 pm | In Brandeis, Life Updates

    Today: West Wing final! Tomorrow: Anthropology of Gender paper! The day after tomorrow: The world!

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