September 30th, 2002

September 30, 2002 on 12:54 am | In Food

K-Mart sucks.

Not always. But K-Mart in L.A. (and WalMart, too, for that matter) just plain sucks. Nine thousand deal-searching customers with no regard for the rules of society — or the rules of K-Mart. The rules of K-Mart are simple:

1. Stay the hell out of Lex’s way.

That’s pretty much it. But they don’t obey the Rules here in L.A. K-Mart was a mad house this afternoon. Parking took ten minutes, and when we finally got inside, the scene defined the word “teeming.”

“Unruly teeming” may be better. “Sweaty, jam-packed, teeming idiocy” is best.

Saving money is good, but not that good. We’re going back to Vons.

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    September 29th, 2002

    September 29, 2002 on 5:31 am | In Family

    It’s hard to make friends in L.A. That’s what everyone says, Anyway, and I understand why. But I think Lauren and I are on our way. We hung out with a Brandeis friend and his two roommates today and got along splendidly. The three of them are all way more observant than we are, but they don’t seem to hold that against us.

    Perhaps because they’re shomer negiah. Bwahahahahaha.


    (That joke is funnier if you know that shomer negiah is a term that refers to observant Jews who don’t touch touch folks of the opposite sex unless they’re married to them.)


    Lauren went to my sister and brother-in-laws tonight, but I just wasn’t up to going myself. It’s okay, because I accomplished a lot, such as admiring the unceasingly impressive ways TNT can cut-up, censor, and interrupt a movie. In this case, Eddie Murphy’s Coming to America.

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    September 27th, 2002

    September 27, 2002 on 3:38 pm | In Funny Internet Things, Leth and Sex News, Things of Amusement to Me

    Okay, ten thousand questions about Leth & Sex, so some answers:

    1. Seth is not actually 93. I said Seth was an old friend (true), and then suggested the adjective old referred to his age, rather than the duration of our friendship (which was not true). It was a joke. From now on, this blog will be entirely serious and focus on death, famine, and lower back pain.

    Seth is actually 4 years old. And a hamster.*

    *Not really.

    2. Why lethandsex.com? Why does the Internet need this site?

    It doesn’t. Seth and I needed the outlet for our creative expression. We went to camp together, and we find each other amusing. Now you can find us amusing, also, if you look at lethandsex.com and have low standards.

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    Oh Yeah…

    September 27, 2002 on 5:57 am | In Leth and Sex News

    Oh yeah, introducing Leth and Sex. An old friend (he’s 93) and I talk. You listen.

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  • July 19th, 2002
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    The Top 17 Search Terms Used When Surfers Stumbled Across My Site:

    September 27, 2002 on 5:56 am | In The Lex Files, Things of Amusement to Me

    (In the words of Dave Barry, “Hi, my name is Dave.” Also, “We are not making this up.”)

    1 anal cysts
    2 fword
    3 Lex Friedman
    4 aramark complaints
    5 noclothes
    6 xerox buttocks
    7 .lex files [a programming term]
    8 Amy Lex [Who??]
    9 CLIPS/INDEX
    10 Class of 2002 graduations
    11 Dodge Neon Fuse Chart
    12 Floyd Evans
    13 Hypercolor t-shirts
    14 I hate vegetables what to eat
    15 I’m resigning
    16 It wasn’t me 30 seconds fame
    17 Lex Files

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    September 25th, 2002

    September 25, 2002 on 6:06 am | In Life Updates, Television

    Another new project is coming soon. Cause I need another one :)

    How come when sitcom characters think, and we’re able to hear their streaming thought processes, they always have odd reverb effects on their voice? Is that what you sound like when you think? Am I the only one whose thoughts don’t sound like they’re being recited in a tin can?

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    September 24th, 2002

    September 24, 2002 on 4:04 am | In News

    Two additional links (beyond today’s earlier post). In this picture, who looks more alert and composed, and who looks more confused and in need of a diaper change? I mean, I’m just saying. And that Blog Fiction story was updated today.

    Okay, and here’s a bonus article that’ll make you proud to be an American. Or something.

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    September 24th, 2002

    September 24, 2002 on 3:50 am | In Modern Technology

    This is incredible. It’s more worth your while if you have a fast connection. If you have a slow connection and a low threshold for the meaningfulness of things you find impressive, then it’s not for you.

    John Madden: Bloated idiot, or inflated blowhard? Yes.

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    September 23rd, 2002

    September 23, 2002 on 3:46 am | In Funny Internet Things, News

    Two posts in one day? Seth’s article (below) will make you laugh. This link will not, but I think it’s just as important.

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    September 22nd, 2002

    September 22, 2002 on 4:56 pm | In Funny Internet Things, Good Stories

    Did you ever notice how the subject line of most forwards is eerliy reminiscent of the orchestration in the shower scene of the movie Psycho?

    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:

    Seth Brown feels your forwarded pain. Read all about it.

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