Lex Friedman Presents The Lex Files

Christmas Eve Eve

December 24, 2002 on 12:31 am | In Funny Internet Things, Things of Amusement to Me

Twas the night before the night before Christmas,
And all through the apartment complex,
Poets were pounding out poems on their computer keyboards
Which lacked rhythm, but were earning them big checks.

Because the night before the night before Christmas
Had become a massive greeting card selling day
And every single greeting card sold by Hallmark et al
Would earn the companies, and the apartment poets, pay

But the problem that the poets encountered each year
Was the lack of poetry in ‘the night before the night before Christmas’
And year after year, after year after year, after year after year,
Each poet said, “Now how the heck am I gonna get out of this mess?”

So the night before the night before Christmas,
(Or Christmas Eve Eve, as some call it)
Has ever been a day of both anticipation AND frustration
Since it’s really hard to write metered poems with such long phrases in them, trust me.