The Lex Files

My brush with destiny

That title is deceiving. Less so, if you replace “My” with My fiancee’s, and “destiny” witih Lex’s toothbrush.

It happened yesterday.

We share an electric toothbrush (with two brush heads). Lauren had left for work, and I had finished my shower, which those of you familiar with my morning ritual knows means it was hair-stylin’ and teeth-brushin’ time. I noticed my toothbrush head (the orangey-pink one) was the one on the toothbrush, even though Lauren should have brushed more recently than I.

Either she was walking around with stinky teeth, or she was walking around with Lex Breath, and contrary to popular opinion, there’s a difference.

A call to Lauren’s cell phone @ school confirmed that she had brushed with my brush-head, and hadn’t been super-extra-polite and placed my brush-head on for me. We decided a through mouthwash rinse of the brush would be enough.

Now, I wasn’t gonna put my doubly-used toothbrush in the Listerine bottle from which I drink directly. So I got a juice glass. Ten minutes later, I put Listerine in a juice glass and ran the electric toothbrush with the head immersed.

Why did it take 10 minutes? Must you know everything? Okay, so after getting the first juice glass, I immediately threw it across the kitchen — because my hands were wet from the shower. Of course, with broken glass all over, there was some cleanin’ to do, but towel-wrapped Lex had neither shoes on his feet nor glasses on his eyes, so he wasn’t entirely sure where the glass was, or how to avoid it while fetching the DustBuster.

Things worked out. I now have eight toes.