The Lex Files

Marry Marry Quite Contrarry

Folks,

The clock is ticking. Time is winding down. I get married this Sunday, and nothing will ever be the same.

Except that I’ll still be with Lauren, still be the same person, still have the same dog, and still won’t eat vegetables.

I’ve been giving some thought to renaming The Lex Files to The New Wife and Puppy Chronicles, but I fear that some readers will think those two entities are one and the same, which they most certainly are not.

Charlie peed and pooped outside today in under three minutes. As did I.

CNN rules.

I’m not watching or reading FoxNews anymore. They’re just mean. I know you’re tired of the story by now, but still:

When asked to comment on its decision to drop the case, a Fox spokeswoman said “It’s time to return Al Franken back to the normal obscurity he’s accustomed to.” (full article here)

NJ Edition #2

From Steve Silver: eVite apologizes for calling Yom Kippur a “reason to party.”

New Jersey Edition #1

Chew on this, Fox “News.”

Wedlock, stock, and barrel

Today, I fly to New Jersey so that I can go get married.

Please pardon this blog while it passes out.

…

Thank you for your pardonage, this blog appreciates it.

(Side note: Is it a problem if I refer to myself as “this blog” in person? As in:

“Do you take Lauren to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“This blog does.”

I didn’t think it was.)

Frankenly Speaking

Man oh man, does this Fox TV lawsuit against Al Franken frost my flakes.

In Monday’s New York Daily News, [Fox TV Personality Bill] O’Reilly wrote that his network and program are successful because “We don’t do drive-by character assassinations, and we don’t denigrate opposing points of view by launching gratuitous personal attacks.”

Fox’s suit described Franken with such terms as “shrill,” “unstable” and “deranged.”

Full article here.

Wedding Myself

My wedding day is fast approaching. Lauren and I tie the proverbial knot on Sunday, August 31st, as the shoes of life unite with the bows of love as we pledge our soles to each other.

Anywho, I want the wedding reception to be fun, so I hope it’s like this one.

So wait, who’s running again?

All these people.

As Arnold says, let’s let the people of California get out there and vote for the person they want to lead the state.

As Jon Stewart of The Daily Show says, but just not the people who voted last year.

More on the Google Calculator

The Google calculator is amazing.

Ask it anything:

avogadro’s number / (pi - the square root of 7000 * i)

a year in minutes (Sorry, Rent)

(mass of earth) * (speed of light)2

forty-seven times nine hundred sixty two

1 cup in tablespoons

10 tablespoons, two teaspoons and seven quarts in pints

Thank you notes

Checks, Cash, Money Orders:

Dear Person,

Thank you so much for your generous gift (whether it was in the $25 range, the $50 range, the $100 range, or more). As we start our new married lives together blah blah blah…. New home blah blah blah… Thoughtful blah appreciative blah… Appreciate helping us celeblah…

Much blah,

Lex & Lauren

Donations in our honor,

Dear Person,

Thank you so much for your donation to (whatever) in
honor of marriage. We have written a much nicer thank you
note to the (charity/organization) itself, in YOUR honor.

Fondly,
The L’s