The Lex Files

The wave of the future

Yesterday, we brought home our third microwave.

Our first microwave had been with the family since our junior year at Brandeis. Lauren’s mom bought it for us so that we could heat up our instant macaroni and cheese faster.

Although the microwave was purchased just around the turn of the millenium, it appeared to date to the 1800s. It had no display, and you started the timer using pulleys, levers, and a dial.

So, we asked for — and received — a new microwave for Hannukah. It took quickly to its new surroundings, and thus had its own display die within a few days.

I took it to the authorized Sears repair center. They said that those displays can last anywhere from one week to one decade. They promised a repair within 10 days.

Eleven days later, they called to inform me that the microwave was ready for pickup. When Lauren went in to get it, they mentioned that they hadn’t actually fixed it, but that we were now authorized to exchange it for a replacement back at Sears. Apparently, such authorization requires a week and a half of work.

So we returned to Sears. The gentleman who helped me wasn’t aware that Sears had ever sold such a microwave. And of course, it wasn’t in stock. They could order it for me, provided I pay $25.

That was an interesting offer. “Hell no,” I counteroffered. “You have to pay the $25 fee, unless you bought the extended warranty, he said.

Oh. Ok. I did that then. Sure.

My false word was enough convincing for them. Six days later — yesterday — we brought home our new new microwave. We look forward to at least several weeks of warmed leftovers.