Auto neurotic, a fixation

July 31, 2005 on 2:00 am | In Uncategorized

I can’t believe we still drive cars.

Seriously. We have internet-equipped refrigerators, so why not cars? They already have built-in GPS systems. Once every car on the road drives itself, we’re going to have a lot fewer accidents.

Until the cars get angry.

No. But they already know how to get where we’re going, and they already have cruise control, and they can already beep at us when we’re too close to something else.

Can we take the final step and let the cars handle the driving entirely, science?

That, or cure cancer.

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    It’s all an illusion

    July 30, 2005 on 4:44 pm | In Uncategorized

    I am linking to these mind-blowing color-based optical illusions so that I’ll find them again from time to time, and be amazed all over.

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    Some funny jokes about the President of the United States

    July 28, 2005 on 4:40 am | In Uncategorized

    Here.

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    T.O. M.I.A?

    July 24, 2005 on 5:35 pm | In Uncategorized

    T.O. wants out.

    I’m confident the Eagles can succeed without him, so I can’t get worked up one way or the other.

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    The Second Biggest Reality Star in the Room

    July 23, 2005 on 7:21 pm | In Uncategorized

    Thursday, Lauren and I spent time at a friend’s home — Heather, whom Lauren works with. Heather, in fact, appeared in Lauren’s “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl” episode.

    But that night at Heather’s house, Lauren wasn’t the biggest reality star in the room, as the subject of this post may have subtly hinted.

    Colleen Haskell, one of the castaways on the very first season of Survivor, was another guest in attendance. Colleen, as far as I know, remains as the only person I have spoken to directly who has turned down a $100,000 offer from Playboy to appear nude in that magazine.

    No one mentioned Colleen’s claim to fame (by which I mean her appearance on Survivor, not her star turn in the Rob Schneider vehicle “The Animal”). But the best part of the evening was when the conversation turned to TV’s “Lost.”

    Guy: “I don’t know, when Sayid takes his trip around the island to ‘chart it out,’ that’s stupid. The first night they were there, they would have called a big meeting and sent some people out to do that.”

    Colleen: “Well, I mean, if I were on an island, I wouldn’t go to that meeting.”

    And NO ONE SAID ANYTHING. About the fact that, you know, she’s TELLING THE TRUTH, since she already HAS BEEN semi-Lost on an island.

    I thought it was funny, anyway.

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    Kenny Vs. Spenny

    July 14, 2005 on 3:14 am | In Uncategorized

    I love television, as regular readers of this blog know and Google’s AdSense know. I have favorite funny shows, among them “Arrested Development,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and recently, “Stella.”

    But today, TiVo picked up a new episode of an under-appreciated show that matches all of those other programs in comedy value. And we hadn’t seen a new episode in so long that it was even funnier than usual.

    “Kenny Vs. Spenny,” which I’ve blogged about before, pits real-life Canadian best buds Kenny Rice and Spencer Hotz against each other in competitions of their own choosing.

    This week’s was “Who Can Sit on a Cow the Longest?”

    We see their preparation (Kenny meets and befriends his cow; Spenny meets with a vet and buys a fleece saddle.) We see their trash-talk to one another.

    But this week’s episode hit its hilarity apex during the Event itself. The contest began officially when both Kenny and Spenny were atop their respective cows.

    Immediately, Kenny threw a plush dog doll at Spenny’s cow. Spenny’s cow reacted like any self-respecting cow would. Which, apparently, is taking off like a cow-bat out of cow-hell.

    It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. The cow MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOs in hostile disgust, and starts to trot, then jog, then gallop, and then sprint, and within 30 seconds Spencer is knocked to the ground.

    It doesn’t necessarily read as funny as it was. I had to pause the show so that I could resume breathing and wipe away the tears.

    Highly recommended.

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    Damn you, Steve Silver!

    July 7, 2005 on 2:45 am | In Uncategorized

    Whenever I learn news from Steve Silver’s blog, he always beats me to the punchline.

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    Stella!

    July 2, 2005 on 2:55 am | In Uncategorized

    Michael Ian Black and his friends have a new series on Comedy Central. It’s called “Stella.”

    The show debuted this week. I think it was friggin’ hilarious.

    Lauren’s not sold. But what the hell does she know? (I can say that because she doesn’t read this blog very frequently, as evidenced by the fact that she still hasn’t read the oh-so-sweet previous post which half a dozen friends and coworkers have commented on, but my lovely wife has not.)

    So. Tangent aside.

    Stella was hilarious. It felt a little bit like “Arrested Development,” which of course I love, but it was totally its own beast. Surreal, sketch-ish, improv-ish, devoid of sanity, and thoroughly entertaining. Recommended, if you like me and like hilarious non-sitcom based television.

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