The Lex Files

The Leth & Sex News: Episode 3

Q: Lex, I notice you and Seth have done two previous news podcasts that were witty and delightful.

A: Yes, yes they were. And thank you.

Q: You’re welcome. But now I have a question.

A: I’m not surprised. We are ensconced in the Question-and-Answer format, after all.

Q: So we are. Anyway, here’s my query: Will there ever be another Leth & Sex News Podcast?

A: You bet your sweet bippy! Download Episode 3 of the Leth & Sex Podcast - The Dead Puppies News Edition.

Q: Will do!

A: Good.

Leth & Sex News: 5-30-06

Lex’s life update

So, as you’ve possibly realized from attentive blog perusal, Lauren and I are attempting to combine as many major life changes into one short time period as we can.

First, of course, Lauren’s expecting, with a due date in late October.

Second, I’ve left my job at Intermix and am now working for an Internet startup. I work from home, and I have enough insight on working from home that I should really right a devoted post about it.

We’ve sold our condo here in Culver City, and we’ll vacate on June 23rd. We’ve also sold my car, and we will be selling Lauren’s sometime after June 20th. (Anyone need a 2003 Honda Civic with just 20,000 miles?)

And, as referenced earlier, we’ve bought a new (to us) house in Marlboro, NJ:

Marlboro Township is a Township located in Monmouth County, New Jersey. As of the United States 2000 Census, the township had a population of 36,398. CNN and Money magazine have selected Marlboro as one of the top 10 safest places to live [1], as a contender for one of the best places to live in America [2], and as one of the “Hottest Places to Live in America” based on statistics of towns with the highest median household incomes in the nation and above average population growth. Source: Wikipedia

All told, a lot of good things happening all at once, all of which lead to this one simple and understated truth:

Packing sucks.

The Rock-Scissors.

Sunday morning, neither Lauren nor I were feeling particularly inclined to walk little Charlie. Charlie, not surprisingly, was feeling inclined to evacuate his bowels and stretch his legs. I tried to convince Lauren she would really enjoy the bonding experience of this particular walk; she wasn’t buying.

So, we decided to use the time-tested Friedman family approach to negotiation: Rock-Paper-Scissors.

But first, I fretted about the process a bit. Here’s the scene:

Lex: Okay, fine, rock-paper-scissors. But I don’t know what to throw! Lauren: You just have to pick one of the three options. Lex: I know, but they all have up-sides and down-sides. For example, rock is GOOD, because it beats scissors. But rock is BAD, because it gets beaten by paper. So rock won’t work. And the other options have plusses and minuses, too. Lauren: Yes. That’s how it works. Lex: Right, I know. I just wish there were a way to guarantee that you would lose. Lauren: That’s sweet. Lex: Hmm. Maybe I’ll throw the Rock-Scissors. (Lex extends his left hand in a fist, and his right hand in a peace sign to demonstrate.) The Rock-Scissors beats EVERYTHING!

(long pause)

Except rock. Both: Hahahahaha.

Lex loses. Charlie wins.

Leth & Sex News: 5-22-06 edition

Last week, Seth and I published our first edition of the Leth & Sex News podcast, as you may recall. This week, we’ve moved onto (wait for it…) the SECOND edition, for May 22nd.

Listen now to the May 22nd, 2006 Leth & Sex News!

So…

What do you think?

http://thefriedmans.net/photos/?album=NewHouse

The Leth and Sex News: Episode 1

Funny people like other funny people. Often there’s some competitiveness there as well, but really, funny people appreciate being around other funny people because other funny people improve your game.

I have a funny friend Seth, whom I was fortunate enough to meet many years ago at a summer camp.

Seth and I have collaborated humorously a variety of times over the years. Most recently — i.e., today — we have started a new endeavor together. A podcast — which the kids used to call “MP3s” — that we’re calling The Leth & Sex News.

We’re going to attempt to do these regularly, at least weekly, if not weakly. We’ll cover all the stories of the day in amusing detail.

But first… We need to know if anyone likes them. So, we’re officially soliciting feedback from you on what you think of this first one. So, take a listen, and share your thoughts!

Leth & Sex News: 5-15-06

On the West Wing series finale

No Toby? No answer as to “who the hell leaked to Toby the information that he then leaked?” One line for Rob Lowe? No Danny? No Zoe? No lines from Alan Alda?

Eh.

Series finales and the passage of time

Tonight, both “The West Wing” and “Malcolm in the Middle” air their series finales. The press has had fun pointing out that Bradley Whitford and his lovely bride Jane Kaczmarek star on those respective shows, and that their finales air opposite each other. In my two-TiVo household, that’s a non-issue.

What is an issue is that every time I watch a series finale, I feel some degree of melancholy. It’s usually not sadness about the show’s conclusion — series end, and I understand that. I could keep watching the Santos administration (though not Malcolm and his family; I agree with FOX that it’s time for them to call it a day), but I’m not broken up that the show is over.

For some reason, though, series finales always remind me that I’m aging. “I was only x-years-old when the show started, and now I’m in this totally different life stage.”

Consider this: “The West Wing” pilot aired during my freshman year at Brandeis, before I began dating Lauren. “Malcolm” began a few months later, 10 months before my first date with Lauren.

Now, we’re married, sold our condo here in LA, are moving to an as-yet-unpurchased home in New Jersey, and are expecting our first child in October. And Jed Bartlett is retiring.

Crazy.

As the They Might Be Giants classic song “Older” sings:

You’re older than you’ve ever been, And now you’re even older And now you’re even older And now you’re even older You’re older than you’ve ever been, And now you’re even older And now you’re older still. Time… Is marching on! And time… Is still marching on! You’re older than you’ve ever been, And now you’re even older And now you’re even older And now you’re even older You’re older than you’ve ever been, And now you’re even older… And now you’re older still.

Boop! Beep! Boop! Beep!

I wonder if the 24 clock-tick sound effect counts as “soundtrack.” If so, I wonder who wrote it. And if someone did, I wonder how much they got paid.

Boop + Beep + Thundering Drum == Dramatic Gold.

Abject terror: The cord in my toes.

Some might laugh. Others might barely notice.

But for me, when I get an electric cord (say, for my laptop or a charging iPod) stuck between two toes, I freeze in terror.

I am a very ticklish person. My feet are no exception to this rule.

With the cord stuck between my toes, I enter a hyper-sensitive state. I need to keep my foot and toes frozen to avoid any movement of the cord, which would be even more tickling.

Slowly, carefully, I bend down to my foot. Delicately, I separate at least one of the two toes as much as possible, and then YANK! that sucker (the cord, not the toe) out of there as fast as I can.

And the terror subsides.