The Lex Files

Update

Even though I didn’t achieve my economic goals, I am un-suspending this blog, having realized that was being a douchenozzle pathetic.

Thus, with Lex’s permission, I, The Lex Files, am reclaiming my role as Official Writer of The Lex Files.

Aaron Sorkin scripts Bartlet’s pep talk to Obama

Fine.

If Lex is going to ignore me, his perfectly robust and eye-pleasing blog, I’ll just handling blogging duties myself. Call it, “The The Lex Files Files.”

Anyway, here’s my first post w/o Lex. (He was dead weight anyway.)

Maureen Dowd gave her NYTimes column over to Aaron Sorkin, and he wrote this brilliant convo between Barack and the fictional president from The West Wing.

PS: People who are voting for McCain/Palin are voting for folks who believe that life begins at rape.

Oh Do Not Forsake Me

Blog: Lex, why do you forsake me so? Why do you leave me barren and alone, like a very old woman in the desert?

Lex: Well, first, blog, I appreciate your use of the simile. Similes always make me smile.

Blog: Thank you.

Lex: You’re quite welcome.

Blog: Word.

Lex: But you’re absolutely right. I have forsaken you, and through little to no fault of your own. Other than all the spam you suck in on a daily basis, forcing me to filter out thousands of comments a day, you’re a very sweet, loving, and affectionate blog.

Blog: Like your wife.

Lex: Okay, weirder simile, but acceptable. A good Mother’s Day shout-out/reference, at any rate. Happy Mother’s Day, Lauren!

Blog: Let’s get back to me.

Lex: Okay, fair enough. It’s hardly “always about you,” so we’ll make just this one time about you instead.

Blog: Appreciated.

Lex: Blog, it’s not that I don’t love you as much as any man can love his non-sentient web log. It’s just that I have so many loves and needs in my life.

Blog: Here we go again. It’s not me, it’s you.

Lex: Hey, hey, hey. You know I want to write in you all the time. But I have a nearly 19-month-old daughter! She takes a lot of time, as you might imagine. And I blog about her from time to time, sometimes with humorous results.

Blog: Wait, you’re posting funny stuff over on the Baby Blog and not here?

Lex: In certain situations, yes.

Blog: Listen, Lextacular. Other parents blog. It can be done. Don’t blame this on Anya — that’s crap.

Lex: Ouch. Words can hurt, blog.

Blog: Sorry. So, don’t blame this on Anya… that’s… hooey.

Lex: Fair enough. It is certainly true that other parents blog. But I also have a very Demanding job, and I’m working on a rather enormous project, not to mention creating a video-based comedy news show once a week.

Blog: Blah, blah, blah.

Lex: I know. When I have free time once Anya’s asleep, I like to spend time with Lauren. Or read. Or, yes, watch one of the shows we TiVo religiously. And I don’t want to shortchange you.

Blog: Shortchange me?! What the hell?! You don’t write anything here for weeks at a time and you claim you don’t want to shortchange me?!

Lex: That’s a lot of question-mark-exclamation-points. You may want to research the interrobang.

Blog: The what‽

Lex: Exactly. But the thing is, I hate writing on you while also doing something else, like watching television. I’m proudest of you when the writing shared here is something I’ve spent some time and attention on crafting.

Blog: Well, that’s sweet.

Lex: Yes.

Blog: Like a sweet, sweet nectarine, whose insides have been replaced with chocolate, and whose outside has been replaced with a crunchy white chocolate shell.

Lex: Some of your similes are forced.

Blog: Some of your dialogue is too, asshole.

Oh Ye Forsaken Blog

A Leth & Sex News should be posted tomorrow.

As for me, I haven’t blogged too much of late: * New baby * New job * New Jersey

I will one day resume normal blogging.

I wasn’t a finalist in the Yahoo! Talent Show. What the hell do they know, anyway? I was labeled — this is true — “The Class Nerd,” and Tom Green again called me funny and a “Young Jon Stewart.”

I wouldn’t mind not being a finalist as much if the actual finalists were good. One or two of them are, but there’s a lot of obvious dead weight in there.

I am not bitter. Just blogging, because I promised someone I would.

Yahoo! Talent Show and Lex

My infamous “Catch-22″ video was noted in the Yahoo! Talent Show contest today. In today’s webisode of their show (you can see it if you go the talent show link right now, but there’s no permalink, sorry), the judges appeared to be split on the song. While some of the judges seemed to like me, Tom Green, specifically, said that I “suck.”

What makes that more interesting is that, just the day before, Tom had posted a comment on that Catch-22 video saying that I seemed like a “likable guy.”

Hmm.

At any rate, check out Episode 1 of The Lex Friedman news for my take on the top stories of the day — and Tom Green.

Too Weird

“Too Weird” is the name of the latest, bizarre video I uploaded to YouTube. Check it out.

If you had noticed the new page on my blog devoted to Comedy & Funny things, you may have spotted this new clip already!

On September 11th.

I’ve told the story many times.

My senior year of college was just getting into full swing. I hadn’t yet finalized my morning routine.

I had finally remembered that I liked to watch the news in the morning. I turned on CNN, for the first time that school year.

I left it on during my shower. I couldn’t see or hear it at the time, it was just what I did. As I got out of the shower, I opened the bathroom door, giving me a straight shot of the TV. I watched as the news anchor first talked about the early reports of a plane hitting the World Trade Center.

I watched the TV the rest of the day, nonstop. I was an information junkie. I took notes (posted on this very blog), on all the facts and mistakes CNN reported that day.

And I think it’s because I watched all day, got the CNN Breaking News emails all day, read the websites all day, from literally the moment the chaos came down the newswire… I think it’s because of all that that I still feel so much guilt.

I feel compelled to read every 9/11 book, watch every documentary, and read every blogger’s pontifications on the anniversary. And this year, I really didn’t want to write my own. And I’m barely going to.

I’ll just say that I will continue to watch every documentary, every film, digest the analysis and the art to come out of that day. Whether our government / nation / world can learn from September 11th, 2001 remains to be seen. But I know that I can.

HELP LEX WIN $5000!

So, my “What’s a TiVo” music video has been named as a finalist to win $5000 in the Answerbag.com contest.

Please, take the time to register for Answerbag.com and vote for the best video of the five contenders. If you don’t think it’s mine, that’s a-okay. I believe I am either the only submitter or one of only two submitters to create my own video, but don’t let that sway you.

Nor should you let your love for me sway you.

Just vote. This is way more important than a presidential election.

As electronics continue to change, such as how televisions are changing into plasma and LCD TVs being around, shopping online can help. This is because by shopping for electronics on the web you can more easily find reviews on televisions and other items.

Guess who’s back?

Me!

I’ve been blogging over at Grab.com for awhile, but over time it’s been making more and more sense for me to maintain my real personal blog here.

I’ve — somehow! — gotten all my Grab blog posts into this blog, while keeping all the old posts from my original blog at this address, all while upgrading to Wordpress (from a homegrown blogging application that I had written previously).

Even more amazingly, I put together a solution so that old URLs for The Lex Files (http://www.thefriedmans.net/blog/archive/url-shortcut-here) will automagically redirect to their new home in the Wordpress hierarchy.

I’m so proud.

There are more layout and style changes to come, as well as a porting of all the old comments I can get my hands on from earlier incarnations of this blog. But we’re getting somewhere

From the Grab blog: Well, that’s embarassing.

Dear lex,



I noticed you haven’t posted anything new on your Grab Blog in a while. Since http://blogs.grab.com/lex is one of my bookmarks, I tend to check your blog out a lot, and it hasn’t changed in more than a week!



I don’t know if you’re aware, but every single day Grab offers a new “Blog Idea of the Day.” That way, if you happen to have writer’s block, we still offer a fun, easy starting point for a quick blog post when you want to say SOMETHING - but can’t think of anything to say!



Anyway, I think it’s time you get back to your blog and share your thoughts with us again. I can’t wait to read what you have to say!



Click the link below to write a new post for your blog - and maybe even try out that Blog Idea of the Day! I can’t wait to check it out!

http://blogs.grab.com/Post.aspx?blog_id=2



Sincerely,

Lex

Chief Blog Enthusiast

Grab.com